An Open Book
by AryaTyrell
Summary: Elle Wood's not your average 80's girl. She loves adventure and mischief, so it's no wonder why she joined the Goonies on the treasure hunt...
1. Last Goonie Weekend

_"Come on, Elle."_

_"No way." _

_"It won't hurt. Just a few whoopee cushions on his chair and-" _

_"No! I'm not going to prank Mr. Keesing today." _

_Mouth looked hurt. "But you always help us." _

_"That was before he caught us and gave us a week's worth of detentions." _

_Elle, Mouth, and Mikey were standing in the deserted school hallway, trying to decide what to do. Elle had lived her whole life in Astoria, and Mouth was the first friend she'd made. She was also pretty well acquainted with Mikey, Chunk, and Data. When you got to know her, Elle was headstrong, adventurous, and she didn't listen to anybody except herself. She didn't like being a girl either. She liked running and riding her dirt bike with the boys, and her mother wasn't too pleased about it. Elle had a very delicate frame, with long blonde hair that she always tied in a sloppy ponytail to keep out of her way. She had a thin face with a light sprinkle of freckles, and clear, bright blue eyes. _

_Mikey continued to beg. "Elle, come on. Please?" he pulled his best puppy-dog eyes. "Just this once." _

_She sighed. "Fine. Let's just get this over with." _

_Mouth smirked. "Knew you'd come eventually. Anyway, did I detect fear?"_

_"Fear, ha! I laugh in the face of danger!" Both her friends laughed appreciatively. _

_"Did you guys go to the soccer game last night?" Mouth said as they set off down the hallway. _

_"No, but I assume we lost." _

_"Yeah, we did," Mouth admitted. "But guess what? Nick sprained his wrist when he dove after the ball!" _

_"No!" Elle gasped as Mikey said, "Yes!" Nick Story was the star soccer player on the Astoria Junior High soccer team, the Trojans. He was very popular, very handsome, but also very vain and self-obssessed, so as a result they hated him. _

_"Is he alright?" Elle asked anxiously. _

_"Yeah, he'll live," Mouth said, disappointed. "I was kind of hoping he'd have to be hospitalized for a year or two." _

_"You should be hospitalized, Mouth." _

_"Why?" _

_"Your crazy obssession with your hair!" _

* * *

><p>Bummer!" Mikey Walsh sighed, falling back on his bed. "Nothing exciting ever happens around here anyway. Who needs the Goon Docks?" He flipped over. "Who needs this house, I can't wait to get out of here!"<p>

"Really?" his brother Brand asked over his weights.

"No," Mikey admitted. "I'm just trying to delate myself. No, no... um... dictate myself."

"Delude yourself," his friend Elle Wood corrected him. She was hanging upside down on a chair, her long legs dangling in the air. Her long blonde hair amost touched the floor.

"That's what I said," Mikey said absently, leafing through a comic book.

"I know how you feel, wimp. I'm sure gonna miss this place too." Brand said. Right then, there was a knock at the door, and Brand scrambled up. "Adopted wuss," he muttered.

Unfortunately, Mikey heard him. "Adopted wuss? I'm not an dopted wuss! I'll kill you Brand!" he rambled, following him down the stairs. Elle sighed and rose from her perch on the chair.

"Ugh, it's Mouth," Brand said disgustedly as Elle came down the stairs. Mikey unlocked the door to let their friend in.

"Hey, Mikey," Mouth said in a high voice. "Yo, Mikey," he said gruffly. "Hey, Mikey, seen Elle anywhere?"

"Yeah, she's upstairs," Mikey grumbled. "Oh, wait, never mind, she's coming down."

"What up, Elle?" Mouth greeted her. As the only girl Goonie, Mouth took a chance to impress her at every opportunity.

"The sky," she said nastily, joining them in the living room.

"What's going down?" Mouth asked, planting his foot on the coffee table.

"Get your foot off the table," Brand ordered almost automatically.

"You got it. What's going down, guys?" They ignored him. "Come on, guys, what's the matter? Is it nuclear Saturday or something, what is it? Come on, guys." Mouth's tone turned to pleading. "This is our last weekend together. The last Goonie weekend," he emphasized. "We gotta be going out in style. Cruising the coast-" he made a sweeping motion with his arm- "sniffing some lace, downing the brews, but noooo!" He squatted by Brand, who was stretching his arms. "The one older brother had to go and screw it up."

Brand made a swipe at Mouth, but Mouth ducked. "Flunking your driver's test?" he continued. "I don't know what to do with you."

"Hey you guys! Let me in!" a voice yelled from outside. Elle raced Mouth to the door, but he beat her. "Jerrrk alert!" he sang, opening the door and leaning on the doorframe. "It's Chunk," he called to the inside.

"I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life!" Chunk rattled the bars of the gate.

"First you gotta do the Truffle Shuffle," Mouth told him.

Chunk's face fell. "Come on."

"Do it."

"Aw, Mouth. Let him in," Elle protested. Mouth ignored her.

"Come on!"

"Do it!" Mouth commanded.

Chunk climbed onto a nearby tree stump, grumbling to himself. He sighed and pulled his shirt up, shaking and making gurgling noises. Mouth started laughing hysterically, pointing at Chunk.

"Cut it out, Mouth," Elle said, exasperated by her friend's antics. Mouth scowled at her as she pulled a string hanging off the ceiling, which set off about a dozen chain reactions to open the gate.

"Thanks, Elle," Chunk said, relieved. Everyone went inside, but Mouth shut the door in Chunk's face.

"You turd!" Chunk complained, pushing the door open and following them inside, glaring at Mouth. "Listen, okay? You guys will never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!"

"More amazing than the time Michael Jackson came to your house to use the bathroom?" Mikey said, feeding his fish.

"More amazing than the time you saved all those old people in that nursing home fire?" Brand asked.

"More amazing than the time you ate your weight at Godfather's pizza?" Mouth said skeptically.

"Okay, okay... Michael Jackson didn't come to my house to use the bathroom..." Chunk sounded defeated. "But his sister did!" he added brightly.

After a pause, Brand asked, "Hey, is it just me, or is the Mission Impossible theme playing?"

Mikey and Elle looked at each other. "Open the door!" Mouth yelled. Mikey complied.

"Wait! The screen door-" Elle began, but too late. Data flew in, knocking down Elle, Mikey and Chunk like a line of dominoes. Luckily, Mikey caught Elle and saved her a hard knock to the ground.

"Jesus Christ, Elle, how much do you weigh?" he moaned from under her.

"Ninety-five," she replied tartly.

"Hey!" Chunk said suddenly. "I bet you guys thought I was gonna drop it, huh?" he laughed. Elle looked over Mikey's shoulder and saw Chunk holding the statue triumphantly. He must have knocked it over from Data's entry. Chunk grinned. "I knew you were going to expect that from good ol' Chunk-" he said, putting it back on the table without looking. Unfortunately, he missed, and it fell to the floor nonetheless.

"You idiot!" Brand yelled as Mikey flew across the table to retrieve the statue. He came back up a second later, inhaler clenched between his teeth.

"Look, it's not broken! It's perfect!" Chunk laughed nervously.

"Oh my G_OD_!" Mikey screeched, inhaler falling out of his mouth and onto the floor. He dove back to the floor, not for his inhaler but for the missing piece. "That's my mom's most favorite piece! Awww!..." he tried to stick the... Elle turned pink as she realized what piece was missing.

"You wouldn't be here if it wasn't," Mouth said smoothly. Elle started to laugh. Mouth grinned in spite of himself. "See, the ladies dig humor."

"Shut up, Mouth!" Mikey said.

"Shut up, Mouth," Brand agreed.

"Hey, any of you guys hear of Detroit?" Data asked in his high-pitched, babyish voice, poring over a map of the United States.

"No," Elle replied.

"Why, Elle!" Mouth said, appalled. "That's where Motown started!" he told her, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Also got the highest murder rate in the country."

"Well, let me tell you guys, that's where we're moving when we lose our house tomorrow."

"Shut up about that, it'll never happen, my dad'll fix it!" Mikey said defiantly.

"Yeah, sure he will," Brand rolled his eyes. "If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tomorrow."

"That's _wrong,_ Brand, it won't happen!" Mikey shouted at him. At that moment, the front door opened. Everyone looked up to see Mrs. Walsh, followed by a rather fat woman carrying several bags and an umbrella.

"Hi, mom!" Mikey said, shoving the broken statue behind his back. He took a quick breath from his inhaler.

"Hi, hi!" Chunk followed his friend's lead.

"I see Data dropped by," Mrs. Walsh noted in a tired voice.

"Hi, Mrs. Walsh, how are you?" Data greeted her over the second round of "Hi"s.

"Everyone, this is Rosalita. Rosalita's going to help with the packing until my arm gets better," Mrs. Walsh informed them.

"Hola!" they chorused.

"Rosalita doesn't speak a word of English, and I know some of you have taken some Spanish in school-" Mrs. Walsh struggled to remove her coat.

"Well, Mrs. Walsh, I speak perfect Spanish," Mouth stepped forward. "And if it's any help to you, I'd be glad to be able to communicate with Rosalita." Elle snorted.

"Oh, you're a lifesaver, Clark-" Mouth flinched at the use of his proper name- "Come with us, will you?"

"Of course, Mrs. Walsh."

"Mikey, no more potato chips. Oh, hello, Mikey," Mrs. Walsh added to Brand as she passed him.

"It's Brand, ma!" Brand called after her.

The second Mrs. Walsh rounded the corner, Mikey swiveled around back to the statue. "Foowooink wer mobs gwona otis?" Chunk asked through a mouthful of chips.

"What?"

Chunk repeated his request, but it was no more clearer than the first.

"Gosh, I wonder if she'll notice..." Mikey ran his hands through his hair.

"Dat's wut I sad!" Chunk said.

"Of course she'll notice, she notices everything," Mikey replied.

"Well, can't you try gluing it back on?" Elle suggested.

"Gluing it? Oh my gosh, Elle, you're a lifesaver," Mikey said, darting past her to the kitchen. A few seconds later he came back with a bottle of Elmer's. "Chunk, you do the honors."

"There, how's that?" he asked a few minutes later.

"Oh, you idiot, you glued it on upside down!" Mikey exclaimed in disbelief. Elle burst out laughing.

"If God meant it that way you'd all be pissing in your faces!" Brand added as Mikey took another breath from his inhaler.

"It looks fine to me," Chunk said, dismayed. Data chuckled as he looked over Chunk's handiwork.

"...You're so fluent in languages, Clark! That was so nice of you!" Mrs. Walsh gushed to Mouth, ruffling his hair.

"Nice is my middle name, Mrs. Walsh," Mouth said, smiling at her like an angel. He pulled out his comb and ran it through his hair again.

"Okay everyone, I'm taking Rosalita to the supermarket. Now listen, I am going to be back in an hour. Mikey, I want you to stay inside. Brand, if he's coming down with asthma I don't want him out in the rain." Mrs. Walsh gave out orders.

"He should be in a plastic bubble," Brand mumbled.

"I'm serious, Brandon. That's not funny. If he takes one step outside you will be in the deepest shh-shhh...shh-"

"Shit, ma," Brand said.

Mrs. Walsh smacked his shoulder. "I don't like that language, but that's what you'll be in." She turned to Data. "And you, Donna-"

"Data."

"Data, you use the back door from now on."

"Alright," Data said glumly. Mrs. Walsh looked at where Chunk, Mouth, and Elle were sitting, her brow furrowing. "What is that?" she asked, pointing at them.

The three automatically moved closer together to hide the statue.

"What is that?" Mrs. Walsh repeated. "That is a mess, I want it cleaned up!" The three of them followed her finger to the chip crumbs from Chunk that lay on the floor.

"Ohhh, yeahhh, sure!" Chunk said, nodding his head.

"You got it," Mouth agreed.

"Oh, yes, Mrs. Walsh," Elle nodded her head vigorously.

"One hour, kids, and I'll be back. Bye baby," she added to Mikey, kissing his cheek.

"Bye!" Everyone chorused as Mrs. Walsh left with Rosalita. "Bye bye, senorita!" Mouth cackled after her.


	2. Rich Stuff

_"Two fours!" Mouth said triumphantly, slapping down his cards. _

_"B.S.!" Elle jumped up and pointed at him. Mouth scowled at her. _

_"Dammit." He scooped up the pile of cards in the middle of the table and started sorting through them. _

_It was almost nine, and it was a bright Monday morning. The Goonies sat around Elle's desk, playing one of their favorite card games- B.S. Miss Elson, their teacher, was absorbed in work at her desk, and she seemed to forget that she had a class to run. _

_"Wow, Elle, you've been right every time," Chunk said, impressed. _

_She shrugged. "I practiced a lot with Mikey over the summer. One five," she added, tossing in a card. _

_Mikey regarded her suspiciously. "B.S.?" _

_She grinned. "Nope." _

_Mikey picked up the card, scowled at her, and added it to his deck. "Three sixes," he said, placing three new cards in the center of the table. _

_"One seven," Chunk offered. _

_"Two eights," Data said. _

_"Four nines," Mouth put his cards in. _

_"Bullshit," Elle said. "I have a nine." Mouth made a face at her and raked in the pile. "One ten," Elle continued. _

_"Two Jacks." _

_"One queen." _

_"One king." _

_"B.S.!" Elle declared to Data. _

_He smiled slyly at her. "No." _

_Elle checked the cards. "Asians..." she grumbled. "You guys are a bunch of lying bastards," she said, going through the cards she had taken. "Tens, aces, fives... I should just call B.S. on all of you." _

_"Hey, so have you heard of this winter dance thing coming up?" Mouth asked as Elle ordered her cards from ace to king. _

_"Yeah, I saw it on a poster outside," Mikey said. "Why?" _

_"I bet you ten bucks I can get a date before any of you can." _

_"Deal," Elle shrugged without any sign of hesitation. _

_"Er... okay..." Mikey said. _

_"Alright!" Data cheered. "I'm gonna beat you this time, Mouth, you wait and see-" _

_"Oh, no. I'm not doing it! I hardly get any allowance as it is," Chunk grumbled. _

_"Great!" Mouth said, leaning back. "By this time tomorrow I'll have thirty bucks." _

_"In your dreams," Elle rolled her eyes, and play resumed. _

* * *

><p>"You want a breathing problem? You got one!" Brand said irritably, pulling Mikey on the chair with him. He let out a yelp as Brand gave him a noogie.<p>

"What'll happen to the stuff that's in the attic?" Mouth asked Mikey, coming to the arm of the chair. It took the combined efforts of Data and Elle to move Brand's arm away to let Mikey answer.

"My dad's giving it back to the museum," Mikey said, sitting up. "Or whoever the new museum assistant curly- curney-"

"Curator," Brand said.

"Wait a minute, guys!" There was a mischievious glint in Mouth's eyes as he spoke. "Maybe there's stuff up there that we can keep from the oldsiders! Maybe there's some rich stuff!"

"No, no, no there's not-!" Mikey tried to tell his friends, but his small voice was drowned out by the excited cries of his friends. Brand shoved him off his lap and raced the others to the attic. "No, it's my dad's responsibility, you guys! The museum's probably got a list!" he cried desperately, following his friends to the attic. "Listen to me, dammit! That's his stuff!"

The attic door creaked open easily, thanks to Brand's strength. "Look at this," he breathed, climbing the ladder into the darkness. "I never knew dad had all this stuff up here."

"Great, look at that! Neato!" Chunk exclaimed.

"Hey, come on guys!" Mikey yelled over the pattering rain. "My dad doesn't want you all up here, you heard what my mom said about not letting anyone up here-!"

"Mikey," Mouth said, throwing an arm around his friend's shoulder, "I cannot believe you actually have something this cool in your house."

"This is great! We only have old Hanukkah decorations in my attic!" Chunk said excitedly, balancing a huge pirate hat on his head.

"I don't care what's in your attic-" Mikey started, but a sudden thunder clap shook the attic, releasing dust that was held in the nooks and crannies. Everyone became rather quiet. Mikey took a breath from his inhaler, as he always did when he was stressed.

"Okay, you saw it, let's go," he said nervously.

"Come on, Mikey, it's cool!" Data protested.

"It's dusty, my hay fever's acting up and you always break something," Mikey said in an exasperated tone.

"That's Chunk," Elle said. "Not us."

"Whatever, it's just that-"

"Heyyy, Mikey!" a voice said from the painting behind him. "Come over here and make me feel like a woman! Give me a nice, wet, lickery kiss!"

"Ew," was Elle's only remark.

Mikey ripped the painting from its position, revealing Mouth crouched behind it. "I gotcha, now get out from there, you're ruining the painting!" Mikey scolded him.

"You're ruining my joke!" Mouth shot back. "The painting's already cracked, and-"

"Hey, Mikey, where'd you get all this stuff anyway?" Chunk asked from across the room.

"Uh, the museum did like, an exhibit, a... a retropactum-"

"Retrospective," Elle corrected him.

"That's what I said, Elle. Don't contradict me. Anyway, they did that, and well, these are the rejects."

"Kind of like us, huh?" Elle said, flicking through a book. "The Goonies."

"I"m not a reject!" Mouth said.

"Pshh. Whatever," Elle rolled her eyes. She saw Chunk barreling through the narrow walkway and backed up to make space for him. Her foot caught on something behind her- a framed picture?- she gave a yelp as she fell backward onto _more _frames. There was a tinkling of glass breaking, and everyone went quiet again. Elle could already feel the heat rising to her face. A second later, a sharp pain came in waves from her ankle, dizzying her.

"S-sorry," she stammered, trying to lift herself out of the wreckage.

"Elle! Oh my God! Are you alright?" Mikey was instantly at her side.

"Yeah, I think so- give me a hand instead of just standing there-" He heaved her up, but a second later the pain in her ankle worsened, and she swayed on the spot. "I think something happened to my ankle, but otherwise everything's fine." Elle bent down and began mopping up the shards of glass everywhere, trying very hard not to cry. She'd just earned Mikey a month's worth of punishment and maybe a cast for her foot.

"Hey- what's this?" Mikey pulled out a piece of parchment from under the glass.

"Hey- Mikey found a map!" Chunk exclaimed, seeing the old, yellowed paper in his friend's hand. In no time flat, the rest of the crew was gathered around Mikey, each straining to see the warped parchment.

"Hey, look! That says '1632.' Think it's a year?" Chunk asked excitedly.

"No, it's your top score on Pole Position," Mouth said sarcastically.

"Yes, it's a year, and it's a map of our coastline." Mikey said patiently.

"What's all that Spanish junk there?" Brand pointed out the writing.

"Mouth, you said you could translate- translate!" Mikey said, shoving the paper underneath his nose.

"Uh, no." Elle said, squeezing in between Mouth and Data. "It's my turn to translate Spanish. Mouth, you did it earlier with Rosalita, remember?" Mostly, Elle wanted to prove she was worth something, other than a klutz. "Okay.." she squinted to read the flowery script. "_Ye... intruders... beware... Crushing death and... grief, soaked with blood..._" she looked up at them. _"Of the trespassing thief_?"

"Guys, this map is old news," Brand said in a tired voice. "Everyone went looking for that when our parents were our age. I mean, haven't you ever heard of that guy? What was his name?" Brand tried to remember. "The pirate guy. One-Eyed Willy!"

Suddenly Mikey's eyes went wide as though someone had told him the secrets of the universe. Elle thought it made him look a bit like Elijah Wood.

"One-Eyed Willy!" he repeated the name in recognition. "Yeah, he was the most famous pirate of his time, my dad told me all about him!"

"Dad'll do anything to put you to sleep," Brand scoffed.

"No! See, One-Eyed Willy stole a treasure once, and it was full of rubies and emeralds-"

"And diamonds?" Chunk put in.

"And diamonds," Mikey agreed. "And then, he loaded it all onto his ship and he sailed away into the sunset. And then the British kind found out about it, and he sent out this whole armada to go after him. It took them a few weeks to catch up with Willy, though. And then- then there was this big war, between the armada and Willy's ship- the _Inferno_- and during the fight there were guns and cannons bursting everywhere, and then Willy fled, because he knew he'd get killed if he'd stayed around. And then, he got into this cave, and the British blew up all the walls around him, and he got caved in, and he's been there ever since!"

"Forever?" Data asked.

"Forever!" Mikey replied.

"And ever?" Chunk asked in disbelief.

"Trapped," Mikey concluded.

"Wow." Chunk said, impressed.

"You sound just as corny as dad does," Brand said, disgusted.

"Dad tells me the truth," Mikey told him. "And you know what he said? He said One-Eyed Willy had been down there for years. They were digging tunnels and caves, setting booty traps-"

"Booby traps," Data interjected.

"That's what I said, booby traps, so anybody who tried to get in would die. Then he killed all his men, so they wouldn't get his treasure."

"Yeah, wait a minute, Mikey," Chunk said. "If Willy killed all his men, then how did the map or the story get out?"

"Yeah, my dad says that one of the guys must have gotten out with the map, and-"

"Hey, Mikey, I believe you," Chunk said hastily.

"I don't believe you at all," Mouth said. He was gearing up for an argument about Mikey's stupid story. Pirates and treasure- that was all grade school stuff. He glanced at Elle to see if she was really buying into his story. She was poring over the map, tracing the routes with her finger. She was muttering nonstop under her breath.

"Guys, come on! We should do it. It would take care of all my dad's debts, and we wouldn't have to leave the Goon Docks!" Mikey said.

"Come on, Mike," Chunk groaned. "I don't wanna go on another one of your Goonie adventures."

Elle bristled and opened her mouth to say that the map might be authentic, but then the doorbell rang. Everyone jumped a foot in the air at the sudden noise. Once the shock had ebbed away they raced each other down the stairs to the door. "Guys!" Mikey cried. "Where're you going? You don't want to do this?" He picked up the map. Elle toted a strange stone doubloon that had come with the map, heaved herself up, and carefully limped down the stairs.

Everyone burst through the screen door and onto the front porch. "Jerk alert," Mouth moaned. There were two men dressed in matching trenchcoats and hats. Black umbrellas shielded them from the rain.

"Can I help you?" Brand asked.

They looked pleasently surprised to see them. "Well, hello little guys. I'm Mr. Perkins. Troy's father," he added for some reason.

"We know Troy, he's a cheap guy," Data said disgustedly.

"My dad's not home, Mr. Perkins," Brand sighed.

"Is your mommy here?" he asked in a slow voice, as though addressing five year olds.

"No, she's down at the market buying Pampers for all us kids," Brand said sarcastically.

Mr. Perkins forced a chuckle. "Papers," he muttered to his cohort. "Well, can you give these papers for your father to read through and sign? We'll be by to pick them up in the morning," Mr. Perkins held up a stack of different colored papers.

"Thank you," Brand said, taking them.

"Thank _you_," Mr. Perkins said, the barest hint of a grin on his face.

"What is that?" Mikey asked his brother as he came back to the porch.

"Dad's business," Brand said gruffly.

"But what is it?"

"I told you, it's Dad's business!" Brand repeated. Then he looked at the retreating figures of Mr. Perkins and his friend. "Look at them smiling," he said nastily.

"They can't wait til tomorrow to foreclose on whatever it's called," Data said.

"Trash the Goon Docks," Mouth said grimly.

"I hope they make our house a sand trap," Brand agreed.

"And never get their balls out!" Mikey added hotly.

"You know, I think they made me lose my appetite," Chunk said sadly as everyone triapsed back in.

"Wow," Elle said, impressed. "I didn't think anything could do that."

"Hey, where's Mikey? Mom's gonna kill me if he's out in the rain too long," Brand said, trying to appear casual, but a thin note of panic in his voice gave him away.

"Uh, I think he's still on the porch," Elle said, following Chunk to the kitchen. Brand left the room.

"Why are there no reflective surfaces in the kitchen?..." Mouth asked, searching high and low.

"Try the toaster," Elle rolled her eyes, leaping onto the counter.

He brightened. "Thanks!" He ran his comb through his hair for the dozenth time that day.

"Boy, am I depressed," Chunk said, going into the fridge. Brand returned with Mikey just as Chunk sprayed half a can of whipped cream into his mouth. Mikey made a face at him as he hoisted himself onto the counter next to Elle.

"If I found all of One-Eyed Willy's rich stuff, I'd pay all my dad's bills," he sighed. "Then he could sleep at night, instead of sitting up trying to figure out how we can stay here."

"Me too," Elle said.

"Me three," Mouth agreed, lowering himself into the sink.

"Me four," Data said.

"Forget any adventures, limp lungs," Brand said, just as Chunk was about to add "Me five." "If I let you out, Mom will ground my ass, and I've got a date with Andy."

"You're dreaming, dude. No way," Mouth said. "Her mom has to drive, and you're gonna make it with her and her mom," he pointed out.

"Shut up, Mouth." Obviously Brand had not thought of this.

"Yeah, Mouth," Data sighed in agreement.

"Shut up, Data," Mouth returned. But his triumph was short-lived; as he was passing, Brand twisted the knob of the sink, and water gushed out. Mouth yelped in surprise and leapt out, feeling his jeans. "Jesus!" he moaned, getting some paper towels. On any other occasion, Mikey might've laughed- but with the foreclosure looming ever closer to them, it was hard to. Instead, he got up from the counter and unfurled the map.

"What're we gonna do about that country club?" Mikey asked worriedly. "It's killing our parents. If we don't do something now, there's gonna be a golf course right where we're standing."

All five Goonies looked at each other. As the storm raged outside, a plan began to form.


	3. The Restaurant

**Last night I was so bored I ended up playing solitaire. You know, that game for lonely people. Sigh.**

**PS- the drugstore scene is a deleted scene from the movie, so I don't want any credit for it! **

**DISCLAIMER- Dang it! Richard Donner foiled my plan to steal the Goonies AGAIN! ~grumbles quietly~ Then I asked if I could just have Mikey, but he merely glared at me. **

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later, as they sat in the living room watching MTV, Mikey beckoned for his friends to huddle up (Chunk arrived with a pretzel still stuffed in his mouth). Mikey motioned the movement Brand was making with his arm stretcher, and mimed tying a knot. Everyone nodded.<p>

"Hey, Brand, how far can you stretch that?" Mikey asked him.

"It's not that hard," Brand said, demonstrating. When it was stretched to its limit, they pounced on him. Chunk and Mikey leapt onto his legs to distract him, while Mouth, Data, and Elle tied the handles into a knot. "Get off me!" he squirmed and kicked, but the handles held good. The Goonies burst out the front door and onto the drive to fetch their bikes. Mouth paused in front of Brand's bike and began unscrewing the tire caps.

"What're you doing?" Mikey asked, throwing his leg over his own bike. "It took him three hundred and seventy-six lawn mower jobs to pay for that! It's his most favorite thing in the world!"

"Now it's the most flattest thing in the world, besides Elle's chest," Mouth said. Mikey was about to make a smart reply but then Mouth added, "Come on, let's go!"

"I'll hit you so hard, that when you wake up, your clothes will be out of style!" Mikey heard Brand threaten from inside the house. Mikey felt a twinge of guilt, but the rush of adrenaline pushed him on. He pedaled to catch up with everyone else.

Elle's ankle was killing her, but the prospect of finding rich stuff and saving the Goon Docks wiped out all other feeling. The wind rippling through her hair, trees and buildings blurring together as she zipped past them- this was where she belonged. Not in a dress, plunked at a table with several other socialites, as her mother had hoped. Riding with her friends, all boys, the Goonies.

"Hey, everyone!" Mr. Walsh waved as they passed the museum. Tall, thin, and balding, Mr. Walsh was the nicest man Elle had ever met. She felt a surge of pity towards him- he shouldn't have to lose his house to rich idiots like the Perkins. This made her more determined than ever to find Willy's treasure.

"Hey, Mr. Walsh!" they all called in turn.

Everyone followed Mikey, because they all assumed he knew where he was going, but actually, he didn't. So he led them to the local drugstore to find a current map of Astoria.

"Um, Mikey? Please tell me this isn't where the rich stuff is," Elle said.

"It's not," Mikey assured her, letting his bike fall on the curb. "I just have to check something-" he scurried inside, everyone else on his heels. But once they were in, everyone went their seperate ways- Elle and Mouth to the magazines and Chunk and Data to the junk food.

"Oh my God," Elle heard Mikey say. "I know these rocks, I know where this is! Guys! Check it out! I know how to get there, this is Astoria, this is where the rich stuff's buried- guys! We can go there, we can get the rich stuff-!"

"Jerk alert!" Mouth called over the latest issue of _Boudoir._

At first Elle thought Mouth had meant the cashier, who was trying to bargain with Data. But then she looked past him and saw-

"Troy!" Data said disgustedly.

Tall, athletic, and handsome, Troy strode in with an air of confidence that could rival any businessman's. He was accompanied by two high school girls. A bell of recognition rang in Elle's head. She'd seen them before. What were their names? Andy and Stef. Both girls scoped out an arcade game nearby as Troy walked around. Then he spotted Mouth. He snatched the magazine from his hands. "Jerk!" Mouth said.

"Come on, Mouth, let's get out of here," Elle tugged on his sleeve. Mouth melted away to the games while Elle went to Mikey, who was still poring over the maps. Troy followed them, about to harass them some more, but then he saw Chunk, pigging out in the ice cream display. He was hunched over, half his body dangling inside the freezer. Troy lifted the cover and pressed it on Chunk. Chunk never saw Troy pull the lid but he felt it alright and squealed like a stuck pig. "Hey, my mom's making a Goon Pizza tonight-" he started.

"Cut it out!" Mikey said. When Troy didn't obey, Mikey abandoned Elle and the maps and squeezed himself in between Troy and Chunk and pushed him away. "Cut it out man, it's not cool!"

"What's this? You're a _Goonie,_ telling _me _what to do?" he held Mikey by his jacket collar. Then his eyes fell on Elle. She crimsoned and moved to block the maps. "Well, you're a pretty little thing, aren't you? What're you hiding behind you there?"

Mouth moved closer to the scene, just in case Troy did something stupid.

"Nothing." Elle tried to make her voice as stable and firm as possible.

"Come on, show me."

"No."

That wasn't a word Troy was familiar with. Still holding an iron grip on Mikey, he shoved Elle out of the way. Even with one hand, she fell pretty hard on the linoleum floor. Her ankle screamed with pain. She almost did, too, but she didn't want to give Troy the satisfaction.

That was it. Mouth snapped.

"Hey, you know, the way you pushed my friend there reminds me of something," he said, approaching him.

"Yeah? What?"

"The time I kissed your mama!"

With lightning quick reflexes, Troy released Mikey and pounced on Mouth, pinning him to the floor. Mouth squirmed and kicked, but Troy had an iron grip. Elle pounded on Troy's arm, trying to be useful. Meanwhile, Mikey was spluttering and coughing for breath. Once that was done he joined the whirl of fists that was Troy, Mouth, and Elle.

"You little Goonie!" Troy was just about to punch Mikey, when another hand stopped his fist. Four pairs of eyes landed on none other than Brand, who was looking murderous.

"No one hits my little brother except me," he growled, holding Troy by his shirt collar and pinning him against the shelves. Mouth, Mikey, and Elle (with the help of Mikey) all crowded at his elbows. Troy shifted out of reach.

"I can't wait until Monday, when my father wipes all you trash out of here!" Troy spat, heading for the exit. "Our court time is now!" he added to Andy and Stef who had stood by watching the drama unfold. Stef left promptly, but Andy stopped and smiled reassuringly at Brand.

"Thanks, Brand," Mikey said, but Brand snatched the map from his brother.

"Mom's been waiting for you all afternoon. You just blew your whole life. And the rest of you guys, too, you're all history," Brand looked at all of them. "He doesn't need friends like you in his life."

"Yeah, well, guess what Brand?" Elle said, looking at him with big, innocent eyes.

"What?"

"He does." With that, she kneed him in his balls with every ounce of strength she had left. "Run, you guys!" she said as Brand went down. They all complied, Elle limping out after them.

"Whoa, Elle!" Chunk breathed in awe as they got their bikes. "Where'd you learn to do that?"

She shrugged. "I'm full of surprises. Now come on, before Brand comes out!"

* * *

><p>"You made me go up this big hill and said you'd give me a Twinkie," Chunk puffed ten minutes later. "I'll be late for dinner, and my mom'll yell at me! She's not gonna let me eat dinner and she'll punish me!"<p>

Mikey flew off his bike and ran to the edge of the hill. Mouth tried to stop in time but he ended up crashing into Elle, which made both of them topple over. She landed on the concrete on top of Mouth.

"Owww," she moaned. "How many times am I going to fall today?"

"I broke your fall," Mouth pointed out.

"You're not the one with the sprained ankle."

"I will be, because you just fell on me with your bony butt."

"Again, ow."

"Okay, sorry, goodbye," he made a shooing motion with his hands.

"Hey, you two! Quit screwing each other, we've got treasure to find!" Mikey called over his shoulder.

"We're not _screwing _each other, Mikey," Elle huffed. "Besides, Mouth's got nothing to screw with," she rolled off of him and onto the concrete.

"Hey!"

"Oh, come on. And you wonder why you've never had a girlfriend."

Elle took his silence to mean he agreed with her.

"I can't believe it! That's it!" Mikey suddenly exclaimed. Elle and Mouth joined them, each comparing the map and the sight in front of them. Mouth pulled out his comb and ran it through his hair again. "Those three rocks out there, one, two three-" Mikey pointed.

Everyone started yelling in triumph and realization, and they were off again.

* * *

><p>"This had better be it, Mikey," Chunk said, dropping his bike on the grass with a groan of relief.<p>

"Shut up, Chunk," Mikey advised.

"Okay, so... what now?" Mouth asked.

"Dunno..." Mikey checked the map. "There's nothing listed here."

Elle sighed and put her hands in her pockets. Wait a second. She furrowed her brow as her hands closed around the doubloon. Puzzled, she pulled it out. She'd never really noticed the design on it before. There were three holes in it, all looking like...

She did a double take. The holes mimicked the shapes of the rocks nearby. She held it up. Sure enough, the rocks fit in the holes perfectly.

"Guys! Check this out. The lighthouse, the rock, and the restaurant all fit in this doubloon perfectly!" she told them excitedly. "That must mean the rich stuff is by the restaurant!"

"Wait a second," Mikey unfurled the map again. "Mouth, translate..."

Mouth squinted to read the script. "_Diez veces diez-_"

"What's that mean?"

"Ten times ten," he explained, then continued. "...stretching feet... to nearest northern point."

"Which way is north?" Mikey asked Data. Data fumbled with his compass as Mouth read the rest of the message. "That is where.. you'll find the treat."

"The treat... the rich stuff!" Elle exclaimed happily.

"North is that way!" Data confirmed. "Near the restaurant!"

"Okay, so ten times ten... a hundred paces... a hundred paces north. Elle, do you need help walking?" Mikey added to her.

"No, I think I can manage," she said. Then she realized that a hundred paces was a lot. "Actually, scratch that. I need help."

"I'll do it," both Mikey and Mouth volunteered. They both looked at each other. "Hey, she's my friend too, you know," they both said in unison. "Hey! Cut it out!" they chorused again.

"O...kay," Elle hummed, amused. "Well, I'll go with Mouth first, and then after fifty paces I'll switch to Mikey. Okay?"

Mouth beamed at her, and wrapped one arm around her and started to count the paces. The wind was tousling his hair, but for once, he didn't seem to care. After fifty paces Mouth turned Elle over to Mikey as promised, and they kept on counting. At this stage, Elle felt well enough to skip, so that was what they did for about ten paces. "Wait! Someone's in there!" Chunk suddenly yelled, pointing at a car parked nearby. Everyone ducked behind some rocks.

"Okay, so sixty and another forty is an even one hundred, so the rich stuff's in the restaurant," Mikey concluded.

"Brilliant deduction," Mouth rolled his eyes.

"I-I don't know about it, Mikey," Chunk quavered. "It's getting late!" He paused. "Hey, that's a summer restaurant! Why is it open in the fall?"

"There's nothing to be scared of," Data said firmly. "Two customers just went in the place."

"Yeah yeah, but what if they're not customers? What if they're drug dealers?" Chunk asked, panic rising in his voice.

"Drug dealers? Jeez, Chunk," Data said, smacking the top of Chunk's head. Mouth quickly covered Chunk's mouth to muffle his yell. "Did you see their clothes?" Data continued. "Drug dealers don't wear polyester rags!" With that, they continued counting paces.

They got up to eighty-one before two loud noises rang out, ripping through the cold air. They froze mid-step.

"Mikey, Mikey!" Chunk shrieked, running towards him and Elle. "That sounded like gunshots. Not the kind you hear in movies but real ones! They're gonna kill us-"

"Oh, turn off your brain, Chunk," Mikey sighed, his arm still draped over Elle's shoulders. "Someone just dropped a pot."

"Yeah, yeah, a pot!" Everyone agreed. They continued skipping towards the restaurant.

"They're gonna kill us!" Chunk screamed when they arrived at the door.

"Shut up, Chunk!" everyone scolded him. They rounded the corner, leaving Chunk standing there alone.

"Move your head, Mouth. I can't see anything," Elle said, straining to see past Mouth and into the window.

"The cook is carrying something into the kitchen," Data told her.

"Yeah- food," Mikey said.

"Well, come on! The rich stuff isn't gonna dig itself, you know," Mouth said. "We have to go inside."

Everyone liked this idea, so they piled at the door. "Ladies first," Mikey held the door open for Elle.

"Okay." She pushed Mouth in.

"Hey!"

"Come on, come on!" Mikey pushed everyone in, and they all piled inside. Elle was squeezed in between Mikey and Mouth. She looked around- this place was _seriously _creepy. As she gazed around the filthy, run-down restuarant, she got the shivers- and it wasn't from the cold outside.

Mouth seemed to be thinking along the same lines as her. "This is a summer restaurant? I bet it hasn't been open for _ten _summers," he remarked.

"How long you kids been at that window?" a sudden, harsh voice asked. They all gasped and swiveled around. Instinctively Elle gripped Mouth's shoulders, trying to shrink away from the old woman who stood in front of them. Mikey did the same with Elle.

"Long enough to see you need about four hundred roach motels in this place," Mouth replied coolly.

There was a loud bang from behind them, and they shrieked and swiveled around again. Elle kept an even tighter grip on Mouth. "How the hell am I supposed to create with that Smithsonian piece of shhh..shh..?" a man roared, faltering when saw the five kids. He said something to the old woman. Possibly, _Who the hell are these kids? _

"Jake, these kids are customers," she replied patiently. "Whaddaya want?" she asked harshly. They yelped again and turned around.

"L-L-Lots- lots of- lots of water," Data gasped.

"Water, water, water!" Chunk panted in agreement.

"Five waters. Is that all?"

"Yes," everyone nodded.

"No," Mouth said, shrugging off Elle. "I want veal scallopini."

"No! No- Mouth-!" everyone whispered fiercely, their voices coming out as high-pitched whines instead.

"I want a good fettucini Alfredo," Mouth continued. "A bottle of fettucine, 1981."

The old woman seemed to be fed up with Mouth's act already. She grabbed his face and squeezed, so that he puckered like a fish. "The only thing we serve is tongue," she said, and squeezed harder so that Mouth's tongue came out. Then she pulled out a switchblade. Mouth's eyes widened and he tried to squirm away. Everyone yelped and covered their mouths.

"You kids like tongue?" the woman asked.

"Mmm-mmm! Mmmmm!" they shook their heads wildly.

The woman laughed evilly and released Mouth. "That all?" she asked, walking towards them. The group backed away, each whimpering in fear. "Siddown!" she commanded. Everyone shrieked and fell into a chair, except Chunk, who fell to the floor.

"Are you all right, Chunk?" Data asked, peering down at the floor at his friend. The woman disappeared into the kitchen.

"Hey, guys," Data addressed his friends, "What happened to those two guys who were in polyester before us? What happened to them?"

Chunk started to say something, but he was gasping too hard.

"What is it? Spit it out," Mikey said.

"You guys, if we don't get out of here soon, there's gonna be some kind of hostage crisis-" Mikey shushed him, as his voice was beginning to rise a few octaves. "Out in the garage, ORV, four-wheel drive- bullet holes the size of matzo ba-" Mouth clapped a hand over Chunk's mouth.

"Chunk, I'm starting to O.D. on all your bullshit stories," he told him.

Suddenly, there was a clink of glass on the table. Everyone fell back, startled. The woman had reappeared. "Here's your water."

"Thank you, ma'am," everyone replied dutifully, taking one.

"Thank you sir," Mikey said. Elle kicked him under the table with her good foot. "Ma'am! I mean ma'am!" Mikey said, his eyes watering in pain. The woman gave him the evil eye.

"This is supposed to be water?" Mouth said, noting that the color of the mysterious liquid was brown.

"It's wet, innit? Drink it!" the woman commanded.

"Where's the men's room, please?" Mikey asked, starting to squirm in his seat.

"Can't you hold it?" the woman snapped.

"No," Mikey said honestly.

"Mikey, this ain't the kind of place you'd want to go to the bathroom in," Chunk said nervously.

"Why not?" the woman asked loftily.

"Because they might have daddy longlegs in them," Chunk ad-libbed.

"But I gotta go to the bathroom!" Mikey whined. Now he was dancing in his chair. Elle frowned.

"Like dead things, Mikey," Chunk hissed.

"Hey, Mikey, gotta go to the bathroom?" Mouth said, pouring the drinks like it was a waterfall.

"Lady, please!" Mikey begged.

The woman hesitated.

"Downstairs, first door on the right," she finally said. "Stay to the right!" she added as Mikey jumped up from his chair and headed for the staircase. "STAY TO THE RIGHT!" she yelled again as he leapt over a chair.

"I know it's to the right, thank you!" Mikey's voice echoed from the stairs.

"Kids," the woman muttered, and she disappeared into the kitchen again.

An odd silence fell over the table. Suddenly, Chunk nudged Mouth, snickering. "What?" he said.

"You know what."

Data caught on. "Oh yeah!"

Mouth crimsoned. "No, not now, you guys!"

"Why not? Mikey's not here, and-" Mouth covered his friend's mouth with his hand.

"Yeah, but I was thinking someplace better than here," he hissed. "Now shut up."

"Wh

at the hell's going on?" Elle asked. "

Mouth and Chunk looked at her. Both of them seemed to have forgotten that she was there.

"Oh, nothing. Good old Chunk being... Chunk. Hehe." he said nervously.

"Uhh... alright. If you say so."

There was a very pregnant pause.

_BLAARRRGHH. _

All eyes turned to Chunk, who sat stock-still in his chair, eyes wide.

Mouth started coughing. "Oh, gross, man! Don't do that when I'm right next to you!" He covered his nose and scooted his chair closer to Elle.

"Chunk, couldn't you have waited till we got outside?" Data asked, eyes watering.

"Ugh, Chunk! What did you have for lunch?" Elle waved a hand in front of her nose.

"Beans," he whispered, mortified.

_Pffftt, pfftt. _

"That's disgusting," Elle noted. She scooted even closer to Mouth. "I'd rather breathe in your cologne then Chunk's fumes," she explained in response to his look.

_BANG. _

Everyone turned. Standing in the open doorway was Brand. "Oh, shit," Elle muttered.

"Where's Mikey?" he demanded.

"Restroom," Mouth replied as he walked up to the table. "Dunno why it's taking him so long, he should be out right about... now!"

As if on cue, Mikey stumbled out of the passageway, looking as though he'd just seen a ghost. Brand clapped a hand over his brother's mouth, threw him over his shoulder, and departed with the others on his heels.

"Get outta here!" the woman shooed them away.


	4. There's Something Down There

**Will someone please get me a McDonald's? I'll be your best friend... :) **

**PS: You know that scene where they go to that little cellar by Sloth's cage? If you watch it closely enough, you'll see that Mikey calls Brand by the actor's name. I.E.: "This is the twentieth century, there's nothing buried under there!" "There is something buried under there, _Josh__, _the map says so!" **

* * *

><p><em>Mikey was amazed at how many girls Astoria Junior High held; he had never really noticed it before. Girls giggling and whispering the hallways, shrieking with laughter as boys passed them, girls excitedly comparing notes on what they were going to wear to the dance... <em>

_"Why do they have to move in packs?" Mikey asked Mouth as a dozen or so girls moved past them in the hallway. "How're you supposed to get one on their own to ask them?" _

_"Lasso one?" Mouth guessed. "Got any idea who you're going to try?" _

_Mikey shrugged. "Alison Beauxvisage?" _

_Mouth let out a snort. "As if. She's way outta your league, buddy." Alison was a year above Mikey; she was very pretty, a very good soccer player, and very popular. _

_Mikey sighed. There was one other person who'd he'd like to ask, but working up the nerve was something else... _

_Then, a curly-haired sixth grader who Mikey had never spoken to in his life asked him to go to the dance the very next day. Mikey was so taken aback that he said no before he'd even stopped to consider the matter, and Mikey had to endure an entire History class with Mouth and Elle's taunts about her. The next day two more girls asked him, another sixth grader and (to his horror) an eigth grader who looked as though she might knock him out if he refused. _

_"She was kind of pretty," Elle snickered. _

_"She was a foot taller than me," Mikey said, unnerved. "Imagine what I'd look like trying to dance with her." _

_As the dance drew ever nearer, some of the teachers (like Miss Elson) gave up trying to teach their class when much of their minds were so clearly elsewhere; she had allowed them to play games in her lesson on Wednesday. Other teachers were not so generous. Nothing would stop Mr. Harrison, the old fogey who taught Historu, from plowing through his notes about the Civil War. It was amazing how he could make even a bloody, vicious war sound as boring Mouth's father when he talked about plumbing. When the bell rang for lunch, there was a mad rush to the door, as usual. _

_"God, I can't wait for this stupid thing to be over," Mikey said, sitting down across from Chunk. "Where's Elle?" he added, looking around. _

_"Lunch line," Mouth said. _

_"We should_ get a move on...you know, asking someone. We don't want to end up with a pair of trolls for dates," Mikey said. __

_"A pair of... _what, _excuse me?"_

_They looked up to see Elle, who was trying to squeeze in between Mouth and Chunk. "And don't go in that line, it's crazy," she added. "Here, Chunk, I managed to get a taco for you..." she passed one to him. _

_"Gee, thanks Elle!"_

_"Anyway... a troll for a date?" she asked Mikey skeptically. _

_"Well- you know," he said, shrugging. "I'd rather go alone than with- Sarah Dunn, say." _

_"Her acne's better now- and she's really nice!" _

_"Her nose is off-center," Mikey said stubbornly. _

_"Oh, I see," Elle said, bristling. "So basically, you're going to take the best-looking girl who'll have you, even if she's completely horrible?" _

_"Yeah, that sounds about right." _

_Elle didn't say another word to him for the rest of the day. _

* * *

><p>"I swear on my life, they've got an... an It! A giant It!" Mikey said, his voice cracking. "They got it chained to the wall! And his face was all broken and distorted-"<p>

"Like your brain?" Brand sighed.

Elle shivered as another gust of wind blew. Chunk was right- it _was _getting late, and it was getting colder by the second.

"Say goodbye to your pals," Brand was saying, but then Chunk pointed. "Hey- look at that!"

Everyone turned to the restaurant again. "Why did you have to shoot him in the head, Ma?" someone asked.

"He's a fed." With a jolt, Elle realized that the voice was the woman's from the restaurant.

"We could've taken him to the side of the road and shot him through the brain-" the man started again.

"Oh, just help me put him in the car!" the woman shrieked. "Bring him over here, Francis," she added.

"Don't give me that 'over here' crap, I'm always the one who has to..."

"I'm wondering- what's in that bag?" Data asked, indicating the trash bag being loaded into the car.

"Uh... restaurant trash?" Mikey guessed.

"You sure? That big?" Data goggled at him.

"And-and there were bullet holes in that car like, this big-" Chunk demonstrated with his hands. "Mikey, come on, our parents are worried, it's dinnertime, let's go home."

"Home? What home?" Mikey said. "In a couple more hours it ain't gonna be home anymore. Come on guys," he pleaded. "This is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff."

An engine revving up filled the cold air. "Get down, guys. Get down!" Mikey ordered. They watched the car drive by in absolute silence.

A cold hand suddenly clapped Elle on the shoulder. She screamed and swiveled around to see Stef, her eyes gleaming mischieviously. Elle wasn't the only one- Andy had managed to get Mouth, and everyone became momentarily alarmed.

"You guys scared me!" Chunk yelped. "Almost gave me a heart attack-"

"You look better from behind, Mouth," Stef noted.

"Whatevs." He squeezed past her.

"How did you guys get here?" Brand asked. He looked as though heaven had sent two angels to rescue him.

"We followed you guys. We were driving with Troy," Andy admitted. "Sorry about your face."

"It's alright, I was born with it," Brand chuckled. Elle rolled her eyes and followed everyone back to the restaurant.

"It's locked!" Mouth announced after a minute of tugging on the doorknob.

"Thank God!" Chunk exclaimed, and turned to leave.

"Wait a minute!" Mouth said. Chunk turned back around. "You know, I got some naked pictures of your mom, takig a bath," Mouth told him. "You wanna buy them?"

All the color drained from Chunk's face. "What!"

"Real cheap-" Mouth started.

"Rrrrrgghhh!" Chunk tried to barrel into him, but Mouth leapt out of the way. Chunk slammed right into the door- and onto the floor of the restaurant, as he had knocked the door down.

"Thanks, Chunk," everyone said, stepping over him.

"What now?" Elle said, looking around the place again. "Start digging?"

"Dunno. Let me take a look..." Mikey unrolled the map again.

"We can't dig now, we're on wood!" Data pointed out.

"Huh. That's true," Chunk noted. "So how do we get to the dirt part- go back outside?"

"No, I'm sure it's under here!" Mikey said.

Soon the blend of their voices escalated into a full-scale argument.

"Shut up!" Mikey suddenly commanded them. "We've gotta get to the lowest point of the floor."

"Lowest point, nothing!" Brand suddenly shouted from across the room. Everyone jumped and huddled together again. Creepy. Elle hadn't noticed him walk in. "Let's go, now!"

"No, Brand-" Mikey stepped forward.

"Mikey-" Brand started.

Suddenly, the front door flew open, and Andy and Stef burst inside, screaming and flailing their arms around. They ran straight to Brand, nearly knocking him over with the sudden impact. The Goonies took this advantage to back up to where the restrooms supposedly were. Then Data made the mistake of flicking the light switch on. The light nearest to the three teenagers shattered in a cloud of sparks, and everyone screamed again. Chunk and Data held on to each other again.

"Oh my God," Andy breathed.

"It was disgusting, you should have seen it," Stef said, shaking.

"It jumped out from the bushes, I swear it almost killed us," Andy said, still breathing hard.

Mikey, however, wanted to continue the argument with his brother.

"Please? What if we find something?" he begged. "A few more minutes won't hurt."

"Come on, Mikey, we're going _right now._"

"Brand, give them a few minutes," Andy said, nudging him. "As long as you stay here with me..." Andy squeezed his hand, smiling like an angel.

"Yeah, yeah! She knows what she's talking about!" everyone chorused, and they disappeared down the tunnel before Brand could argue.

"Ugh," Elle said as they descended down the stone steps. "You went to the bathroom in here?" She took in the small tunnel- it was lit with a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. There was loose dirt and rock everywhere; Elle was surprised that Mikey's asthma wasn't acting up again.

A low growl from the depths of the tunnel made everyone jump.

"Chunk, I hope that was your stomach," Stef quavered.

"No," Mikey said, stepping forward. "It's the It."

"Sounds like Kong," was all Chunk could say.

"No, no, part of it's human," Mikey assured him. Chunk ran back to Data. "Wanna see it?" Mikey addressed the group. Everyone shook their heads. "Come on, it's chained to the wall."

This fact seem to make everyone feel a little better, so they carefully followed Mikey into the darkness. Elle realized that she was keeping a lot closer to Mouth than she normally would have. Chunk, aside from clinging to Data, was trying to get a grip on Mikey's jacket. Mikey slapped his hand away.

Mouth was the first to come to the door. He peered through the small window and quickly stepped back. "I don't want to go."

"Why not? Mikey said it's chained," Elle said, taking a turn at the window. The only thing she saw was an egg shape- a head?

"And you wanted to go before," Mikey said.

"Yeah," Mouth breathed. "Yeah, I want to go... "

"Well, let's go!" Mikey pushed him in the room.

Mouth was halfway to the It before it let out a giant roar of either anguish, sadness, or maybe hunger. Everyone screamed and automatically begain backing up, pushing Brand, Andy, and Stef into a door. The door swung open and everyone fell in, creating a dogpile on Chunk. Mouth finished off the mountain by landing on top of Elle.

"Ow!" she moaned, as he rolled onto the wooden floor. "Jesus Christ, Mouth!"

"Sorry."

"Shame, shame!" Chunk suddenly yelped.

"I know your name!" Data said.

Everyone's eyes turned to Brand and Andy, who were just about to kiss.

"Come on, Brand! Slip her the tongue!" Mouth winked at him.

"That's disgusting, I can't even look," Stef huffed.

"Help me up, guys!" Chunk wailed as everyone stumbled up. With the joint efforts of Elle and Mikey, Chunk was on his feet again.

"Can't you smell it, guys? One-Eyed Willy really is down here!" Mikey said excitedly as Brand flipped the light switch. "Okay, so we're walking right above..." he consulted the map.

"Hey, water!" Chunk said, indicating a jug. He put his mouth under the spout and pressed down on the handle, and lo and behold; water poured out on his eye. Elle giggled.

"Right around here must've been when we said we've gotta get down to the lowest spot," Mikey said, looking up through the floorboards. Then his eyes fell on an old pickax resting on the wall. Mikey picked it up and swung it to the floor.

"Mikey, what're you doing? You're gonna take someone's eyes out with that thing!" Elle scolded him.

"Are you insane?" Mouth yelled over the _clangs! _the pickax was making.

"Give me that," Brand took the pickax away from Mikey. "This is the twentieth century, there's nothing buried down there-!"

"There is something buried down there, Brand! The maps says so!"

"Hey guys! I've got an idea!" Mouth interjected. "Why don't we just put chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through it?"

"Okay, Mouth," Chunk said, standing up. "That's all I can stand, and I can't stand it no more!" The water jug began to wobble from its stand. "I got it! I got it!" Chunk suddenly shrieked, trying to hold the jug. At some point, he lost his grip, and the jug fell to the floor with a crash.

"I don't got it," Chunk said.

"You klutz!" Elle, Mouth, Mikey, and Brand chorused.

"Hope it's not a deposit bottle!" Chunk said cheerfully, folding his hands over the empty stand.

"This is ridiculous," Stef said, irritated. "I feel like I'm babysitting, except I'm not getting paid."

"Wait a second," Mikey said. "Listen to that." The room became very quiet. The only sound was the water from the jug dripping down a drain.

"Sounds like my grandfather taking a leak. Thrillsville," Mouth said.

"No," Mikey said, ignoring Mouth's comment. "It's deep. Like there's a hole or a passageway. Real deep." Mikey knelt down next to the fireplace, examining it for some kind of secret opening.

"Get out the way," Brand took over.

"Brand is being so sweet to me," Elle heard Andy say in the background.

"Oh, come on!" Stef yelled. "You're in the clouds, and we're in the basement!"

Back at the fireplace, Brand moved the logs- they were fake- and revealed a small hole, just big enough for someone Mikey's size. "I told you!" Mikey yelped, dancing around the hole. "Told you! Told you!"

Elle could have kissed him. They were halfway to saving the Goon Docks. As she was contemplating this, she heard Data mutter, "Fifty dollar bill." Then, louder, "Fifty dollar bill. Fifty dollar bill. Fifty dollar bill!" he was practically screaming by now. "Fifty dollar bills! Hundreds of them! We have money to save the Goon Docks!" Everyone crowded around him as Data passed around the sheets of paper money. Elle took a sheet with trembling fingers.

"Quiet!" Brand shushed them. "They're fake," he declared. "They're bogus. They're phony."

Everyone groaned and threw the sheets to the floor. "You get twenty-five years for counterfeiting!..." Andy said, eyes wide.

"Hey, everyone, I recognize these people!" Stef held up an issue of _The Astoria Ledger. _

_"_Look, it's the Fratellis," Mouth said.

"He was the guy upstairs!" Data said. "The guy who tried to sing! Remember?"

"See, you guys never listen to me!" Chunk shouted. "I said there was gonna be trouble and you didn't listen to me! You guys are crazy! You guys are self-destructive!" he turned to leave. "I'm getting out of here. I'm-" he froze mid-step. "I smell ice cream." He threw open a door nearby, revealing a freezer. "Oh my God! They got Swenson's- Mississippi Mud- Pralines and Cream-" Chunk began loading the ice cream in his arms. "And they got Chocolate Eruption! What, what?" Chunk said, noticing that his friends were staring at him. He followed their gaze to a trash bag leaning on the corner of the room.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Chunk screamed when he realized that it was a dead body. He ran out of the freezer and to his friends, who were standing stock-still, too shell-shocked to move. The body fell over and onto them, and finally they reacted. They tried to push the body up and back into the freezer, but Chunk panicked and ran, causing everyone else to drop it.

"Wait! The door! It just shut!" Elle gasped, looking up at the floorboards. Instinctively, they drew together, a quiet hush falling over the room. Footsteps echoed up above, causing dust to fall on them.

"Somebody's been here," a woman's voice said. "Door's open."

"Pizza," Chunk whispered.

"Shhh," Mouth shushed him.

"Pepperoni?" he guessed after a second.

"Shhh!"

There was a thud from upstairs. "Ma, he's eating my pepperoni again!" a man whined, as though he were a child.

"You want your pepperoni?" another man snapped. There was _flick-_ had he thrown the slice at him? He must have, because then-

"Come on, come on, let's kill each other over the pepperoni!" the first man yelled.

"Put that gun away!" the woman said.

"You always take his side," the first man grumbled. There was a silence from upstairs.

"We've gotta get down to that passageway," Elle whispered in a hoarse voice.


	5. Bully Blinders, Pipes, and Copperpot

_Elle's behavior turned frosty to Mikey as the days progressed. In science class they had just embarked on the immensely difficult topic of dissection; working in pairs, they were supposed to dissect owl poop and find as many rat bones in it as possible. Elle laughed unkindly at Mikey's disastrious first attempt, during which he had managed to cause the pellet to skid off the plate and hit Mrs. Lawrence, who was overseeing their progress, in the eye. Mikey retaliated by doing a cruel but accurate impression of Elle jumping up and down in her seat every time Mrs. Lawrence asked a question, which Chunk and Data found deeply amusing and which reduced Elle to tears. She raced out the classroom on the bell, leaving half her things behind; Mouth, deciding that her need was greater than Mikey's just now, scooped up her remaining possessions and followed her. _

_He finally tracked her down as she emerged from a girl's bathroom on the first floor. She was accompanied by Kate Lee, who was patting her vaguely on the back. _

_"Oh, hello, Mouth," said Kate. "Did you know you have a rat bone caught in your hair?" _

_"Hi, Kate. Elle, you left your stuff..." _

_"Oh, yes," Elle said in a choked voice, taking her things and turning away quickly to hide the fact that she was wiping her eyes on her pencil case. "Thanks, Mouth. Well, I'd better get going..." She stalked off. _

_"She's a bit upset," Kate observed. "She said something about that Mikey Walsh..." _

_"Yeah, they've had a fight." _

_"Yeah, well..." Kate sighed. "Mikey's just so tactless sometimes. See you later, French is right through here..." _

_"Alright. See you." _

* * *

><p><em>"You could say sorry," Mouth told Mikey at lunch later that day. A long way along the table, Elle was sitting alone, picking at her stew. <em>

_"What, and get laughed at again?" _

_"What did you have to imitate her for?" _

_"She laughed at my owl pellet!" _

_"So did I, it was the dumbest thing you've ever done." _

_A sudden gust of wind passed behind Mouth, and he twisted around to see that Elle had just brushed past and squeezed next to Kate, who was next to Mikey. _

_"Hi, Kate!" Elle beamed at her. "Are you going to the Christmas dance tonight?" _

_"No invite," Kate said gloomily, "But yeah. You're going, right?" _

_"Oh, yes. I'm meeting Nick at eight, we're-" _

_Mikey choked on his water. Data pounded him on his back as he coughed and spluttered. Elle pretended to not have seen or heard anything. _

_"-we're going together." _

_"Nick?" said Kate. "As in, Nick Story?" _

_"That's right," Elle said sweetly. _

_"Are you going out with him, then?" Kate demanded. _

_"Oh-yes- didn't you know?" Elle gave an un-Elle-ish giggle. _

_"No!" Kate looked positively agog at this piece of news. _

_"Well, see you... just wanted to tell you..." Elle smirked in Mikey's direction as she left. Kate, Chunk, and Data put their heads together to discuss this new development, everything they had ever heard about Nick, and everything they had ever guessed about Elle. Mikey looked strangely blank and said nothing. Mouth was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge. _

* * *

><p>"Okay, on three. One- two- three!" Everyone strained to lift the body and push it back into the freezer. "Okay, close the door! Let's go, guys!" Brand said, going back the way they'd come.<p>

Mikey stopped in the middle of the floor.

"Mikey, what're you doing? Come on!" Brand hissed.

"The fireplace is the only way out," he said. "You'll never get out that way." A thin strip of light from a gap in the floorboards fell across his face, highlighting his eyes, making him look even more mysterious. "It all starts here."

After a moment's hesitation, Brand ran back to the fireplace and threw his feet inside. "Come on, let's go! Faster!" Mikey commanded, pushing Brand inside.

"Half the pepperoni was mine," said a man outside.

"Hurry! They're getting close!" Mikey whispered fiercely, now shoving Mouth inside the hole. "Elle- you next-"

Elle cautiously tried to lower herself into the hole, but her feet slipped, and she slid down to the bottom. "I'm okay!" she yelled up the shaft.

One by one, the Goonies squeezed into the hole. Mikey went last, pulling the fireplace over the hole just as the Fratellis entered the room. "Somebody's been here," the woman said, walking about. "The cooler's broken. Go check on your brother."

"Ma, it could have been a tremor," Jake sighed.

"A tremor? I'll show you a tremor!" _THWACK! _She slapped him.

"I'll go check on the brother," Francis volunteered.

"If he broke the chains I'm not getting any more from the zoo!" Ma Fratelli yelled as they exited.

"Where's Chunk?" Elle whispered.

"Chunk? Oh, God- I think Chunk's still upstairs!" Mikey said. "Give me a boost, will you Brand-"

With Brand's help, Mikey gave Chunk instructions to get the police ("We're in serious shit here," Mikey had said) When Chunk escaped through the window, Mikey went down again.

"Where's Chunk?" Data asked.

"He's outside- he's getting the police. Hurry up, the Fratellis are here! Move!" Mikey pushed them along.

"Ow! Mouth, you stepped on my foot-" Stef said, massaging her swollen foot. "Great, now I dropped my glasses! I can't see a thing..."

"I found your glasses. Sorry..." Mikey said sadly, handing them to her.

"You broke them! You broke my glasses-!"

"Guys, I'm the oldest, so I'm in charge," Brand said. "First we'll-"

"Data, do you have a light?" Mikey asked his friend.

"Hey! I said I was in charge. Data, do you have a light?"

"Yeah! I do!" Data's eyes lit up. "Bully Blinders!" He unbuttoned his coat and two lights popped out from its depths.

"What-?" Mikey started, but then the lights came on- right in everyone's eyes. "Ow!" Mikey covered his eyes.

"Aren't they neat?" Data said, obviously unaware of the effect of his lights on his friends. He started walking backwards. "One day I was walking home with it, and these two big guys stopped me-"

Mikey stumbled over his own feet, so blind was he from the lights. Elle felt someone groping on her shoulder. "Who's that?" Mouth asked. "Oh, it's you, Elle-"

"Watch out!" Brand yelled.

"Dude, turn that thing off!" Elle suggested, squinting. Just then, the lights dimmed, and so did Data's smile.

"Awww, Data. The only problem is, the batteries don't last so long," Data explained forlornly.

It took a moment for everyone's eyes to adjust to the darkness.

"Wait a second!" Elle suddenly yelled. "Mikey, I can see you! Well, not your face, but your outline!"

"That must mean there's light coming from somewhere," Mikey observed.

"Like over there?" Mouth pointed.

"Yeah. Maybe we can get out that way. Let's go."

* * *

><p>"Does it work?" Elle asked anxiously.<p>

"Yeahhh!" Mikey said, cranking the lantern up to its full light.

"I can't see, I can't see..." Stef moaned, running a hand through her short blonde hair. "Mouth, your dad's a plumber, what are these pipes?"

"These look like water pipes, guys," Mouth said, running a hand over them. "Gas pipes, maybe. Drainage. Hey- wait a minute! Shut up for a minute!" Everyone complied. "These pipes must lead to a building or something. A foundation. So maybe if we bang on them hard enough, if we make enough noise..."

Mouth didn't need to say any more. Making noise was their specialty. Everyone grabbed something- rocks, a discarded wrench, their hands- and banged on the pipes with all their might. They shook them, rattled them, tried to bend them. Data climbed on them as though they were monkey bars, and Andy was swinging to and fro on one. Within minutes, the pipes started to give way, water slowly trickling through cracks in the pipes . Elle was beating on one so enthusiastically that it began to vibrate up and down by itself.

Suddenly, there was an awful, grinding noise- it sounded like something had gotten caught in the pipes. Everyone stopped beating up the pipes and looked up, eyes wide.

"_REVERSE PRESSURE!" _Mouth yelled.

"Let's-" Mikey started.

"Get out of-" Andy interjected.

"Here-!" Elle gulped.

"Like, now!" Stef finished.

The pipes burst, water spraying everywhere at amazing volume. The water was so fierce that it cleared an escape through the loose rock. Elle burst through it first, tumbling down the narrow passageway. One by one, everyone fell through the passageway. Luckily, Elle scurried up quick enough and avoided being at the bottom of the dogpile.

"When my dad asks me why I don't like plumbing, this is the reason why," Mouth gasped.

"You guys alright?" Brand moaned, helping Andy up.

"Data just sat on me with his bony Asian ass. Of course I'm not alright," Mikey grumbled.

"Sorry," Data said and stood up.

"Hey, look you guys! A lantern. Someone must have been here before us." Elle pointed at the lantern.

"Maybe they're still here."

"I hope not."

Andy, meanwhile, was near hysterics. "Ten minutes ago, Troy was looking down my shirt. Who cares? It's not wrong. If I'd been smart, he'd still be looking!"

"Andy, it's okay," Brand tried to soothe her.

"I should've let him look at my body. Don't I have a beautiful body? I have a beautiful body! How many years until I get fat? Before my hair falls out? Before I look like him?" She pointed at... Elle squinted. A_ skeleton?_

Andy seemed to finally come to her senses and realize what she was pointing at, and she screamed. Everyone else started screaming too. Elle wouldn't have been surprised if the skeleton started screaming.

"Okay everyone, don't touch it," Brand said authoritatively, kneeling down and examining it.

"There's nothing to worry about," Stef assured Andy, who was sobbing uncontrollably into her shoulder.

"You don't understand!" she gasped.

"Don't be afraid. Deep breaths, deep breaths!" she coached her friend.

"He's dead for sure," Mouth quavered.

"I think it's Chester Copperpot," Elle shook.

"Who?" everyone asked.

"In the attic," she started. "There was this article about a guy named Chester Copperpot. He went looking for the rich stuff in like, 1937. They saw him go in, but they never saw him come back out!" A new thought struck Elle. "Oh, God! If he didn't make it out and he was an expert, what about us?"

"We can't be sure it's him," Mikey said.

"I'm sure it's him," Elle said firmly. "I bet his I.D.'s in his wallet. Someone get his wallet!"

Mikey dug through the skeleton's satchel and produced the faded leather wallet. "You're right," he said grimly. "Chester Copperpot," he flashed the I.D. at them.

Everyone groaned. "We're gonna get killed!" Data shouted.

Mikey rummaged through the bag some more. "Hey, look at this!" he pulled out several wax-like rods. "Candles!"

Data took them and ran off.

"Hey, where're you going?"

"I'm setting booty traps!" he called back.

"Booby traps."

"That's what I said, booty traps!"

Brand rolled his eyes and was about to leave when his foot kicked something. "Hey, guys, look," he gingerly lifted a medallion out of the dirt. "It's like a skeleton of One-Eyed Willy or something."

"Give me that. Give me this," he added to the skeleton. The medallion was attached to a long piece of twine around Chester's neck. Mikey tried to remove it, and Chester's head came off. Everyone yelped. Brand quickly replaced the skull onto the neck and wiped his hands on Mouth's jacket, who looked like he was about to cry.

"Hey, guys. Look at this. See what I've found?" Mikey held up some string that was hidden in the dust. He tugged at it, and then there was a sudden _swish! _from behind. Everyone looked wildly around and saw that Mikey had actually set off a chain reaction. "Guys, freeze. Don't move. Hey you guys! Back there! Don't move a muscle!"

Then Mikey noticed that the boulders perched up at the ceiling were beginning to sway.

"_RUN YOU GUYS, RUN!_" He yelled. They didn't need telling twice. Everyone stumbled up, kicking up dust as they did so. Mikey, Brand, Mouth, Andy, and Stef ran ahead while Elle hobbled along.

Halfway through, Mikey felt the familiar squeezing in his chest. His breath came out in a wheeze. He coughed, and Elle turned around. "You okay?"

"Okay." He could barely get the words out.

"Use your inhaler!" she urged him.

"Gave it- Mouth- to hold-" he coughed.

"Good place for it. Mouth!" she called.

He turned around. "What?"

"I need Mikey's inhaler, he's coughing real bad..."

_BOOM! _the first boulder had dropped.

"Data?" Elle called nervously.

"_HOLY S-H-I-T-!" _he screamed back, flying down the hallway past Elle.

Mouth reached into his pocket. Stuffed in there was a candy bar wrapper, a cool rock he'd found in Mikey's garden, and his spitball straws. He tugged, and the inhaler popped out, flew in the air, and landed on the ground. It rolled right under the fourth boulder.

Everyone's heart seemed to stop.

_BOOM! _

Mikey's wheezing got worse, and his hands flew to his chest.

"I'll get it," Elle said.

"No," Brand's voice was quiet but rang with authority, and he was already moving.

"Brand-" Andy whimpered, but he waved her off.

_BOOM! _

He only had seconds. Quickly, he snatched up the inhaler and threw it to Elle, who caught it. She hastily wiped off the dirt on her shirt and passed it to Mikey.

He felt his lungs open. The rattling breathing eased. But his chest was still tight. He still struggled. There was so much dust in the air, and it didn't help that they were standing right underneath the sixth boulder. He leaned over as black spots loomed in his vision. _Panic makes it worse_, he told himself.

"Mikey! Come on!" Elle yanked his arm and pulled him out of the way just as the sixth boulder landed.

"Hurry, you guys!" Brand beckoned them over. He was already on the ledge to safety. He hauled them p over the ledge.

"Wait- the lantern!" Mikey wheezed, sliding out the narrow entrance. Several hands tried to pull him back, but Mikey shook them off, grabbed the lantern, and jumped back through just as the seventh boulder crashed down.

"That was close," Mouth panted, breathing hard.


	6. The Wishing Well

**Guess who's ba-ack?...**

**HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT? I was watching the "Last Friday Night" music video yesterday, and, to my absolute shock, COREY FELDMAN WAS IN IT! I was like, HOLY BEJESUS! He plays Kathy's dad at the end. You know, where he's like, "Hun, we _invented _Friday." **

* * *

><p><em>Mikey was in a very bad mood for the rest of the week. <em>

_"She could've taken _anyone!_" Mikey exclaimed in disbelief in History. "_Anyone!_ And she chose Nick Story?" _

_"Mikey, I don't understand how girl's brains work either. So please shut up and complain to someone else," Mouth said. He was extremely irritated and fed up with Mikey's whining about Elle and Nick. _

_Mikey didn't seem to have heard him. He went on and on for about fifteen more minutes about Elle's sanity before Mouth finally slammed his pencil down. _

_"Just go and say sorry to her if it means that much to you!" he told him. That sure shut Mikey up. _

* * *

><p>"Hey, it sounds like someone's down there," Brand crawled to a small boulder. "Listen." There was a sort of snuffling sound, but it was very faint.<p>

"Maybe it's a way out!" Andy said hopefully.

"Maybe it's the Fratellis," Stef said grimly.

"Maybe Chunk got the police," Data put in.

"Maybe it's another one of Willy's booby traps," Mouth said anxiously.

Elle watched in awe as Brand pushed the boulder, revealing a small hole. Everyone strained to see inside.

"Brand, um... God put that rock there for a reason, and, um, I'm not so sure you should move it..." Stef quavered.

"Hello?" Brand called inside the hole. He leaned in.

A split second later, hundreds of black, furry shapes burst through the hole. "Bats!" Brand yelled over the squealing. They caught in Andy and Elle's hair, they picked at Mouth and Mikey's skin, tried to get in Data's jacket. Stef, meanwhile, was losing it.

"Rabies! Oh my God, rabies! We're gonna get rabies!" she screamed, flailing her arms around to get rid of the bats around her.

Soon the bats flew off in due course, leaving everyone panting hard.

"Rabies... rabies..." Stef was now rocking back and forth on the dirt floor, eyes wide.

"Man up, Stef," Mouth told her, but he hadn't been too masculine during the bat attack, either.

"Come on, you guys, let's see what's in that hole..."

"That's what she said," Mouth snickered, but he obeyed the order.

* * *

><p>"Hey, if we keep going this far down, maybe we'll reach China!" Data said excitedly from ahead. "Maybe I can go see my auntie or something, haven't seen her in ages..."<p>

"Uh..." Mikey stopped in front of Elle. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure."

"So I was kind of wondering... er... do you- do you like Mouth?"

Elle stared at him blankly. She felt as though she had been punched in the stomach- she did _not _see that coming.

"I mean, I've seen the way you look at him, and you always laugh at his jokes, and Mouth is a great guy and everything, so I just thought-" Mikey rambled on, completely oblivious to the fact that Elle had not answered.

Elle's imagination went into overdrive as she tried to picture herself hugging and holding hands with that- that _idiot._ Mouth was her best friend. Not to mention he was arrogant and stuck up most of the time.

"No," she said firmly, stopping Mikey in his tracks.

"What?"

"No," she repeated.

Mikey let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Why do you ask?" Elle cocked her head.

"Oh- just wondering," he felt his face redden. She shrugged and forged on. A few seconds later, she gasped, "It's beautiful!" There was a huge waterfall cascading into a pool of water. The wall was lined with rock, and the rock was lined with-

"Rich stuff!" Data suddenly yelled, pointing.

Mikey let go of Elle and ventured to the waterfall, allowing the water to pour on his head, drenching him. "Wow!"

"It's like a giant piggy bank!" Data shrieked, going through the waterfall. "We're rich!"

"Gold and silver all over the place!" Mouth agreed, leaping into the pool. "Coins, rich stuff!"

Elle scooped a handful off of a nearby rock and examined them. Oddly, they looked like normal American currency.

"Hey, what year was that map made, Mouth?" she heard Data say.

"Dunno, but probably before... Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, and... Martin Sheen?" he looked closely at the coin.

"Martin Shee- That's President Kennedy, you idiot!" Stef said.

"Well, same difference! He played President Kennedy once!" Mouth shot back.

"That's really smart, I'm glad you're using your brain!" Stef yelled back.

"At least I have a brain!" Mouth retorted.

"You're so stupid, Mouth!" Stef returned.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes!" She turned away from him, rolling her eyes. Mouth opened his mouth to say something, but Stef beat him to it. "Shut up!"

"Hey, you guys?" Elle called. "This isn't the rich stuff! We're in a wishing well! See?" she pointed at a small hole in the ceiling.

"Must be the old Moss Garden Wishing Well," Mouth mused.

"I used to believe that when you threw a coin in, it would turn into your wish," Andy smiled sadly at the handful of coins.

Elle saw Mikey and Data trading coins nearby. Obviously they hadn't heard they were in a wishing well. "Wait a minute, wait a minute, stop you guys!" Elle said, treading water to get to them. In response to their whines of outrage she said: "These are somebody else's wishes. Someone else's dreams!" Data looked at Mikey and understanding silently passed between them.

Mouth, however, took a different view of things.

"Yeah? Well, this one, this one _right here-_" he held up a coin- "this was _my _wish, _my _dream! But it didn't come true," he glared at all of them. "So I'm taking them back. I'm taking them _all _back." He dove back into the pool once more.

Mikey walked to the center of the room. "Come on, One-Eyed Willy! What's this got to do with the map?" he said aloud to no one in particular. "Is this just another one of your tricks?"

Suddenly, a quarter _pinged! _down the well, nearly hitting Brand on the head. "What the-" he picked up the offending quarter and tossed it back up.

"Who's down there?" someone called down a few seconds later.

"You guys! It's Troy!" Data said in relief.

"Troy! We're down here!" Andy yelled up.

"Andy?" Troy goggled in disbelief. "Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me!" she said patiently. "We're stuck down here. Please send down the bucket!" she pleaded.

"What the hell are you doing at the bottom of a well?"

"Don't ask stupid questions, Troy!" Andy snapped. "We're stuck! Just send down the bucket!" Troy obeyed. As everyone squabbled over how to get Andy up to the surface safely, Elle heard Mikey mutter: "Chester Copperpot." Then-

"Chester Copperpot!" he swiveled around.

"What?" everyone said.

"Chester Copperpot!" Mikey repeated. "He was a pro, he was an expert at this kind of thing, but he never made it this far! Look how far we've come!" his tone turned to pleading. "We still have a chance at this."

"A chance at what, Mikey? Getting killed?" Andy said, her voice high-pitched and tinny. "If we keep going, someone's going to get hurt. Maybe even killed. We're supposed to get the police, remember?"

"Maybe Chunk already got the police!"

"Well, maybe Chunk is dead!" Andy shot back.

"Don't say that! Never say that!" Mikey reprimanded her. "Goonies never say die!"

"I'm not a Goonie," Andy pointed out. "And I want to go home."

"But still!" Mikey looked around at all of them. "The next time you see the sky, it'll be over in another town. The next time we take a test, it'll be in some other school." He paused. "Our parents, they always want the best of stuff for us. But right now we've got to do what's best for them. Because it's their time. It's _their time!" _Mikey shouted. "Up there." He pointed. "Down here, it's _our _time! It's _our _time down _here!_" He pulled his best puppy-dog face. "And that's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket."

A smal silence followed this speech. Elle was almost in tears. She leapt off the rock and gave him a huge bear hug. Mikey staggered from the sudden weight, and then patted her back awkwardly.

Andy took another glance up. Then she looked at the bucket. "Okay. I'll stay."

A huge cheer erupted from them, echoing against the walls of the cavern. Then Data pointed out that Troy would probably notice if the bucket felt empty, so they conned Andy into leaving her jacket.

"ANDY, YOU GOONIE!" they heard Troy scream from the surface.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Mouth, trasnlate this..." Mikey held up the map for Mouth to see.<p>

"Copper bones," he began, and immediately Mikey began searching his pockets for something. Mouth squinted in the dim lantern light. "Westward foams," he cocked his head. "Triple bones."

"Okay, this must be the copper bones," Mikey held up the skull-shaped medallion they'd gotten from Chester Copperpot.

"Hey, look at this!" Elle said excitedly, pulling some spiderwebs away from a little square in the cavern wall. "Triple stones!" She pointed triumphantly at the stone groupings in it.

"Yeah! We gotcha now, Willy, we're right behind you!" Mikey said.

"Why couldn't I have had a sister?" Brand moaned. "A little sister instead of _that_?"

Meanwhile, Mikey was trying to fit the stones into the skull's eye and nose sockets. "No, no, that's too big... try the middle one!" Data suggested.

"You guys are crazy," Mikey said. "The middle one won't work!"

"It will! It will!" Data nodded energetically.

It fit perfectly.

"See! Told you!" Data said.

"Okay, then. That's one problem solved. But which way do we turn?" Mouth asked.

"West..." Elle muttered. "Counterclockwise!"

"Here goes nothing!" he twisted the stones slowly. Suddenly, a door appeared from either side of the stones, enclosing Mikey's arm. As Mouth, Elle, and Data tried to yank Mikey's arm out of the hole, there was a sound of creaking- another booby trap? Everyone looked up to see a ball rolling down a little railway.

"What the hell is that?" Stef wondered.

"It's one of Willy's tricks!" Mikey moaned, watching the ball swirl around them. "Move!" he shoved Elle and Mouth out of the way. Unfortunately, the floor fell through right where Data was standing.

"DATA!" everyone screamed, crowding around the hole. They strained to see him, but the darkness obscured him from view.

"Oh, he's gone!" Elle groaned, burying her face in Mikey's shoulder. "He's gone for sure!"

"He's really dead!" Andy gasped in horror.

"Pinchers of Peril," someone muttered. "Pinchers of Peril!" someone shouted. "You guys, I've been saved by my Pinchers of Peril!"

"Data! Is that you, buddy?" Mouth called down the hole. He looked pretty shell-shocked, but he was glad to see his Asian friend was, by some miracle, still alive. Then Data shouted something even better.

"You guys, there's a whole 'nother room down here!"


End file.
